Awakening – Dark Night of the Soul -Yoga

I AM the darkness

And of course I have been here before, this dark night of the soul, soulless

dark night of the soul

Only this time is was worse. As all that came before it, all its glory and awe was ripped from me. The emptiness, my beloved emptiness full of fullness, rich in love, more pure than the breath itself, now a desert, black as night, so vastly empty.

All potentiality unseen, unreal, nonexistent

The dark night of the soul

The breath my beloved breath, listless, unwelcome for its prior promise of life was forsaken, each breath bringing more darkness to the dark.

Nondual fear
Fear has many faces

Thoughts, my beloved thoughts of gratitude and exaltation, now birthed with condemnation and ill repute; such ugliness, I was bequeathed even by the idea that things could be good again, for goodness begot but more misery.

And yet there was no sadness, no emotion, that too was an empty space. No possibility of clinging to it, as the darkness gave no boundaries to grasp onto.

My Sadhana

my beloved meditation gone, samadhi unreachable, irrelevant, composed of interpretations of the ego. The ego that has pulled me into her depths to face my reality.

nondual spirituality
Heart opening

She who has suffered

Pains of destiny

Rising in the dawn

Give her nectar

Bathe her in yr love




From yr heart

She who has tried

Without reprieve

Rising in the dawn

Soak her in your warmth

Feed her nectar

Wise Adjectives of Amore

Shine upon her

Soft hands

Of humour

She who has worn the world

In Ernest

Rising in the dawn

Lay upon her bed

Delicate petals

Of honour

Silken rose


She who has met the demons

Mobs of life

Rising in the dawn

Bow before her

Offering her nectar

Announcing her beauty

With kisses of fervour

Let her wallow

In yr touch



Rising in the dawn

The dawn of Einstein

And the dawn arises, still in the darkness of night, upon the 7th rising of the sun

nondual dark night

So, I turn to my beloved Einstein. Wrapped in theory, fingers pointing to the universe, the movement of planets and spacious glory. Yet, the algorithms of my heart so empty, dry; I stumble past his interpretations, his mental theorems derived of imagination and some how land upon the Meditation of the

Secret of the golden flower

nondual meditation

I knew he would have the clues. Grace!

I drop immediately into my breath. The darkness arises once again. The glorified darkness, full and rich, boundless, alive. Into the silence of my breath I become seamless, there is a light and I am that. The dark and the light at once.


Form is emptiness

Emptiness is form

 – Buddhist heart sutra

I sink deeper into this Self and I (the darkness and light) merge and I am nothing, gone kaput!! Yet, only for a time.


Nondual shadow
My shadow self

And as the thrice dawn falls upon me again, established in my practice (Drop into the breath, become the silence, a light appears, direct it to my heart, let it surround me, moving it into the space between the eyes),  here arises within me


From existence, consciousness, bliss there was an image before my very eyeless eyes. I became Aware of a face covered in hair of grey, so white like pearls of dust, tears fell upon my face and I thought out loud “Lao Tzu? is that you”  More silence pursued and I returned to the empty space full of golden light. Grace!

nonduality Aurobindo

And in the dawn upon the 11th day of the rising sun,  before me was the book

“The Life Divine”

From its words I fell seamlessly into the energy of emptiness, merging with the golden light for 5 days of the rising sun and into the rays of the moon.

nonduality art

Ode to Aurobindo

When one

Is all but sun and moon

Spiders webs

Dying leaves

Silken cocoons

Hues of gold

Clouds appearing



No emotion found

Of death

Of life

Sparks of light

In empty minds





In form



Oh Ananda

That lasting grace

When all

is no longer sun and moon


Was a spiritual philosopher and mystic born of India and educated in England, completing his studies at Cambridge before returning to the mother land to help revolutionise India from the grasps of the English colonization. This led him on a mystical experience in his term in goal as a political revolutionary.

He spent his life thereafter,  experiencing spirituality through mystical experiences and interpreting the Hindu traditions. His life works are of a deep spiritual nature.

Aurobindo’s goddessGoddess consciousness

For me, he pointed me towards the union of body/mind and the transcendent, the tantra and the Advaita (which had previously been split off from each other) and helped me to step into a deeper surrender. Exquisite trust. Not of traditions or religiosity, yet of life.

Of life divine

nondual tantra

One day at a time! I like to say


nonduality intuition

Intuition comes before reason.

Reason is what we do with it.

May all beings see

the glory of the sun


all appearances of the mind

May the sweetness

Of her warmth

Fill your heart

With the nectar

Of her radiance

So it can

Pour into the hearts

Of others

warm blessings


Here is a great talk on Aurobindo if you would like to know more about him.


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